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Islamizing the taleem ….. – 22 (Child and the inappropriateness of environment)

7 Nov

(The writing that follows is my dialogue through email with a group on the Topic: Islamizing the Taleem and Tarbiyah of our children. I am maintaining the email format for ease of understanding as well as for maintaining originality of this dialogue.)

(From a sister)
Walaikum Assalam Br Abid,

JazakAllah khayr for giving time and effort in replying to all my questions. great help alhamdulillah.

My last question – my concerns about how to help our children deal with inappropriateness prevalent around them still remain unanswered. Perhaps I need to reword my question. I will insha’Allah get back with specific examples after a few days.

Looking forward for the exercise you talked about in your last email.

(My response)
Assalamu Alaikum sister,

How to help our children deal with inappropriateness prevalent around them?
Sister umm Sofya it seems I missed your important question which has comparatively a very simple answer that is again perceptional. I go about it in the following manner:
The last ayah of surah Baqarah says that no one is burdened to which s/he cannot bear. Another very strong message through many tawheedi ayahs of the Qur’an is that everything is strictly in Allah’s control; nothing can go out of His control. He is in complete control of his creation. You cannot guide any one nor misguide anyone, except if He so wills, (but of course this does not mean that you will not bear the responsibility for same). It is only He who shows the correct way. Then the fact is except for our Nafs (self) nothing is ours, not even our body. Allah has created each one of us in the best of molds – on fitrah (nature) (hadith). And lastly the great news that Allah is with the Mu’min (believer), those who rely on him and apply themselves sincerely to follow His commands.

Now your children are fitna or test for you. It is Allah Who has created and put them under your charge to see how much you care about Allah’s commands in conducting your affairs with your children. Our duty is to do our best from our sides and be a role model for our children. That is most effective for them to hold on to. Provide them with as healthy an environment as is practically possible and most importantly to keep them away from ma’asiat (disobedience) or activities and developmental material which are unhealthy from the Islamic perspective. The problem I see now is that I see many parents who intentionally provide unhealthy and un-Islamic material to the children, coming under the influence of secular educational recommendations. That is what I call giving beneficial from one hand and poison from the other.

Another important aspect is your unconditional love towards your children. This makes their personality strong and stable, and your advises more effective on them. This is easy to understand. You will always give weight to the advises of someone you love and someone whom you trust. If the children believe in your unconditional love, in the long run your education and guidance will prevail, though since any child is naturally very curious and experimenting s/he may try out some wrong things as well. Remember the human is made of weak disposition. Sister we should not burn ourselves worrying unduly, and should have complete trust in our Creator. For certainly everything is under his control and we are just required to do our best and no more, I believe our success before our Lord lies in this.

Sister I have tried to reply your questions in details because they are all relating to our faculty of perception. How we look at this life and how we understand our responsibilities as Khalifa (vicegerent) of our Creator on earth? This part of my discussion is purely to make my audience understand and realize the importance of perception, and the role it plays in our performance in this life which is only a test for each one of us.

Br. Abid.