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Islamizing the taleem ….. – 79 (Should children be the epicenter of our lives)

22 Jan

(My dialogue through email with a group on the Topic: Islamizing the Taleem and Tarbiyah of our children)

(from a sister)
Assalam alaikum Abid Bhai (brother).

After I read your article ‘redefining the education system’ it really clarified things for me. Especially the fact that Allah subhana wa taala has also taken the responsibility for ‘educating us’ and embedded it into our nature. Like Allah says in surah (Chapter of Quran) al Balad that I’ve given you the faculties and shown you the way… It has given me a new found trust in my Creator and my children. This is the major stress reducer.

I think my children are the epicenter because I think this could be my path to Allah’s raza (favor). Is this wrong?


(my response)
Assalamu Alaikum sister,

When in the Islamic university (Malaysia) I came across the educational writings of Naquib al’Attas. Alhamdulillah it defused many major confusions that I was trying to resolve. His concept of education is incorporative of many important theories, including that of Stephen Covey’s; I feel because he went to the very root of education. He describes the main aim of education is to create ‘Adab’ in us. The word Adab he defines as the realization of the status (or hierarchical order) and importance of every created thing as it has been positioned by the Creator Himself.

What does this imply? It implies that education should lead us to realize the hierarchical order of everything or hierarchy of importance, as the Creator wants that to be understood by us. This will make a very stable person out of us, because within this boundary we will tune our minds to operate and prioritize. Our raza or satisfaction will be the raza or acceptance of Allah subhana wa ta’ala. Any better way to succeed?!! Any better way to put thing is right perspective? If our prioritizations in our lives are correct, we are certainly on the right track towards success in the next everlasting life?

Now let us come to the issue of epicenter or focal point of our lives. Remember the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, was given away to bibi halima by hazrat Amna while still a little infant. This was quite normal practice among the moneyed Arabs. Did our Prophet disapprove of this practice? Many sahaba had more than a dozen children. Do you think it was possible to concentrate on each child? Some Sahaba had as many as fifty children. My mother had seven of her own and two adopted. I never saw her nervous or exhausted. At that time she was not even a practicing Muslim. I never remember her hitting any child. her love for us was tremendous. Alhamdulillah most of us are quite qualified academically and some have topped academically.

Another aspect is that I see most of the children spoiled by undue focus on them by the parents. The children can be spoiled very easily . I am sure most of the parents, specially mothers realize this better than I do. It will be much wise if we care for our children’s stable personality development more than we falling prey to our emotions, and over possessiveness of the children. There are so many aspect that we can discuss on in this respect. I leave it for parents to come forward with their quarries and questions.

Rizq is not only food or money? It is every human requirement. And Allah has taken its guarantee if we ourselves do not spoil the opportunities, and then he has himself ingrained the capacity and capability for acquiring same in each person. Over and above he himself provides all the opportunities. All the possessions in this life have been given to us for the test, the only test that will decide our heaven or hell. The focal point or epicenter has to be Allah and his commands. His love, His awe, His fear, His correct recognition by us. The children are one of the test, a tougher test then our wealth. Undue love of wealth, will surely misguide us, will it not? so is the case with our children. They have been called fitna for us, which may put us into chaos. Be matured and balanced in your focus towards your children. I will love many questions which I am sure many mothers have developed in their minds by my explanations.

Br. Abid.