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Islamizing the taleem ….. – 84 (Educating small children – how to conduct with your child)

9 Feb

(My dialogue through email with a group on the Topic: Islamizing the Taleem and Tarbiyah of our children)

Assalamu Alaikum,

Will like to make following suggestions to sister following comments:

“Quran is full of rewards and punishments, how can we avoid this in the stories of the Prophets. Is this a wrong move on my part to tell my four years old these stories. Please explain – in practical terms – how deen (way of life) can come naturally to them without us explaining the basics and fundamentals from the Quran.”

At a very young age of three or four I feel we need not try to force Quran or oral Islamic teachings to them. The children do not respond to pressure positively. First and foremost is parents and close family members playing role models. Provide a loving and caring environment. Keep them close to yourself. Your hug is very assuring to them. But please do not spoil them, as the children can be easily spoiled by your over indulgence. Keep them close to nature and frequent your tongue with the praise of Allah subhana wa ta’ala. This will develop Allah’s awe in their young hearts. Let their mind be free and creative. If you observe a wrong habit please do not be harsh on them, and show your displeasure in soft terms. When you speak to them speak in a matured way as you would speak to a grown-up. They enjoy being treated like grown-ups. It is their right to be treated with utter respect. They are certainly more intelligent than we are, we take them otherwise because they lack our communication skills and the behavior of the grownups. This they are learning very fast at this age. This deficiency should not deceive us into taking them to be lacking in intelligence in any way. The psychology believes that young children have a higher brain activity than the grownups.

In the past we see the children put to learning reading of Quran at the age of four as well. So we may start Nazra (learning recitation of Qur’an) at this age. Focus more on language and provide a conducive environment for developing their language.

It will be very beneficial if someone investigates what were the activities of children during the Prophet’s (may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and his companions’ times.

Just remember the following rules:

1. Make them feel the warmth of your unconditional love.

2. Do not spoil them with over chiding and luxury. Make them physically rough and tough.

3. Keep them close to nature. They love nature and it is the best tool for developing awe of the Creator.

4. Show them your natural awe of Allah subhana wa ta’ala.

5. Speak to them in a natural way as you will to a grown up – show them utter respect.

6. Please do not be unreasonable with them.

7. Make them strong in language and comprehension. (Reading literature has to be discussed further)

8. Avoid structured or formal education.

9.   Logic is natural from the Creator; it is fitrah (nature). It is stronger than your love or awe in their hearts. Please do not try to curb this faculty – you will only create confusion and instability in their personality. Please look around and observe deeply at the children around and see the damage that we cause to their stable personality. This stability is acutely missing in the present times.

Most important thing is to play a worthy role model. And mind that we all will have to account for this on Yom-e-hisab (Day of Judgment).


Br. Abid